He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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