I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nobody cheats on THIS.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
