do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
