Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Pants are for mortals
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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