It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
