i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
