you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
