oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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