she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize