She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
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How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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