she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Your cock deserves a montage
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
