Whod you bang
just tell him i said nine months
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think a kid would responsible me up
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
