ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
