You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
