Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
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I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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