i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
