Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
