I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
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i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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