I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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