he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
