I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
