goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
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