So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
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we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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