ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Can you bring me the toilet please
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
