We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
