dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
