32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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