Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
