yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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