Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
