Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
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