Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
