Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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