I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
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She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
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Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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