Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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