if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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