so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we're making bets on your personal life
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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