I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
