I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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