Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
