I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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