highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize