do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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