I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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