new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
