You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
