it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
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I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
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I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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