She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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