We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
