do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
