Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize