dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
