I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
