this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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