I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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