While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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