Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
