we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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