So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
